Daylight Strangers
by Ansy Pansy aka Panz
Summary: Kirsten thinking re KirstenSandy in ‘The Mallpisode’
1. Daylight Strangers

Was thinking about the Mallpisode and this fell out of my head! Not very cheerful – baaad day (my date 4 our summer ball had to cancel on me :-( ) Ah well! Read and Review please!

**Summary: **Kirsten thinking re Kirsten-Sandy in 'The Mallpisode'

**Disclaimer:** I'm sure you can guess what I'm gonna say but I'd better say it anyway. I own zip to do with the O.C.

Daylight Strangers

Everything was so strange.

Strange.

They were strangers.

Twenty years married and suddenly strangers.

Nothing they did seemed to fit together anymore.

Kirsten used to think she and Sandy were made to be together. They fit together, perfectly. Their bodies tessellated. No gaps, no cracks.

There were cracks now.

Great big cracks running right through their marriage. Through both of them. Right through her heart.

They didn't communicate. At all.

No words.

No gestures.

No looks.

No kisses.

No thoughts.

Once they had been connected. They didn't need words to speak, they didn't need touches to feel. Their eyes could speak. Their souls could feel.

That seemed to have disappeared.

The mere idea of actually forming words seemed impossible. The inner voices were also silent.

Nothing seemed to work.

They couldn't even function. They couldn't function without each other, but now they didn't seem to work together either.

Christ, pouring coffee became a drama.

Wherever they were, whatever they were doing, it felt strange.

They were out of time.

Hopelessly, horrendously out of time with each other.

No more rhythm, no more union.

That morning in the kitchen; holy awkward, as Seth would put it.

That evening; polite, careful, contrived. He meant it, but that's how it felt.

Unnatural.

The simplest things were no longer natural. They were in a suspended reality. It had to stop. The only time things were ok were at night. Curled up together, their tense bodies finally relaxed and able to tessellate together again. The unholy strangeness removed as they fell easily into routine. Some things couldn't change twenty years convention. And however angry or upset they were, however strange things felt, they always found each other at night; their bodies drawn to each other as they slept. Whatever happened between them, somehow they always woke up twined together, their arms tight around each other.

Kirsten could wake in the night and still feel Sandy's arms around her, feel the way she was pulled up against his chest, feel his warm breath tickling her neck. And she could pretend everything was fine, everything was normal, because this was natural, this was how it was meant to be.

It was daytime that was the problem.


	2. Daylight Kisses

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well you persuaded me…I should have been doing my English prep but I didn't. I wrote this, because I'm so nice lol! I hope you enjoy it and thanks to whoever it was you asked me to make the 'perfect couple alright in the daytime' took me a while but I just had to! Once I'd decided to I couldn't concentrate on anything else!

Please review.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daylight Kisses

Kirsten woke tangled in Sandy's arms again, his body curled round hers, one arm thrown protectively over her, hand clasped with her own.

She didn't move, didn't dare breathe in case he woke and immediately rolled away, embarrassed by their close proximity, a closeness once necessary and now so strange. She missed this.

Missed this kind of connection, being together, peaceful, perfect.

Why were they only like this when one of them was asleep? She wondered sadly, her heart aching as she felt Sandy's beating against her back.

It shouldn't be like this.

Neither of them had mentioned the fact they woke up in completely different positions to the ones they forced themselves to sleep in. It took both of them hours to fall asleep on their respective sides of the bed. It was unnatural to be so far apart, the centre of the bed empty.

Nature, or perhaps simply routine, brought them together obliviously in the darkness. In the morning Kirsten would feel Sandy extricate himself from her grasp when he got up to go surfing and pretend to be still asleep. He didn't need to know she lay awake for hours beforehand, revelling in the touch she missed throughout the day.

She didn't know he was awake making his breathing deep and regular so he appeared to be still sleeping.

He didn't know she was awake as he lay there dreading having to release her hand.

Kirsten stared at their linked hands.

Sandy stared at the back of his wife's head.

God she missed this.

God he missed her.

Missed holding her close, giving her gentle morning kisses, receiving more passionate evening ones. And yes, admittedly he missed the sex.

But that wasn't important, even though Kirsten was so damn hot when she was angry, what mattered was the fact he'd hurt the most beautiful woman on the earth. He didn't deserve her.

She missed the husband that greeted her in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and kiss despite having left their bedroom in a flurry of kisses only minutes before.

She longed for the impromptu phone calls just to say 'I love you'.

And no, it wasn't just these things she pined for. She craved his touch.

What happened now? Kirsten wondered. Where did they go from here?

Were they going to get past this? Sandy worried. Why had they let things get this far?

This wasn't it.

Was it?

Warm tears inched their way down Kirsten's face, hanging precariously before falling heavily onto the hands tangled by her cheek.

Sandy felt a few of these splashes before they registered in his head.  
She was crying.

She was awake.

'Kirsten?'

He was awake.

The voice was quiet, anxious, gravelly with emotion. She couldn't reply, more tears choking her throat.  
She sniffed and Sandy eased her towards him. The next moment she had rolled over and buried her head in his chest, her muffled sobs making her body shake.

'I'm sorry, oh honey I'm sorry. So, so sorry baby, please don't cry. I'm sorry.'

She looked up at him, breathless and tearful, 'I can't do this,' she moaned.

He froze, the bloody pounding in his head. She couldn't do this, do what? She couldn't mean…

Sandy opened his mouth to protest, he didn't know what to say but he had to change her mind.

'I can't fight with you, I need you too much.'

The relief was tangible. It made him feel sick. He'd die rather than lose her.

'I need you too, so much.' He mumbled into her hair, pressing her against him possessively.

Kirsten could hardly breathe but she didn't care, she needed this, needed to feel his strong arms wrapped crushingly around her.

'I have to know what happened,' she told him

'Nothing happened,' he insisted again.

He felt her stiffen. 'You didn't sleep with her?'

'_What_? Kirsten…' he was lost for words, she couldn't really think that could she? 'I… No! I wouldn't ever…I couldn't. No, no way. I would never do that to you. I love you. You think I would…Kirsten, do you not trust me?'

It was her turn to apologise.

'I do, I'm sorry, it was stupid of me. I just, I'm paranoid…she was your fiancée; you were going to marry her, before you met me…'

'Exactly, before I met _you_. And I love you.'

'So nothing…'

'We kissed goodbye. That's all, just a kiss.'

'When Jimmy kissed me it wasn't 'just a kiss' to you.'

Sandy sighed. 'She was leaving and we kissed, one kiss, closure.'

'She didn't leave though, not then. If she had you wouldn't have stayed out all night. I waited for you on Valentine's Day, alone, and then I had to sleep alone days later. Because of her.'

'All I wanted was to get home, to you,' he told her urgently, 'I never meant…I'm sorry I hurt you, really, I am.'

She scanned his face, scrutinising the earnest blue-green eyes she could so easily drown in. 'I'm know, I'm sorry I didn't trust you' she said again.

'Don't apologise,' he said, 'you're not the one who has anything to be sorry for.'

'I love you,' she said, smiling as he kissed her.

'I'…kiss…'love'…kiss…'you'…kiss…'more'…kiss.

They were touching, smiling, kissing.

Strangers didn't kiss.

These weren't the air-kisses of acquaintances, quick kisses of friends, false kisses of quarrelling couples.

Deep, frenzied, passionate I-love-you kisses.  
Daylight kisses.


	3. Daylight Morning

Daylight Morning

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You guys are such a bad influence! I could have been finishing my English but oh no, I wrote this! Ah well. I'm hiding out in the music block to skive chapel so this was a fun distraction. I never want to go to prison…I am sick of this 12 X 6 room! Please read and review.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I see the parents are back to their nauseatingly affectionate selves,' Seth commented, glancing disgustedly out of the window to the patio table where Kirsten and Sandy were sat sharing a chair and feeding each other bits of bagel.

Ryan stuffed a handful of Captain Crunch into his mouth before looking up. 'Sumfing's beenf gofing fon,' he declared.

His brother rolled his eyes, 'In English Ryan?'

'Something's been going on.'

'What? Where?'

'With your parents dumbass.'

'Don't say 'ass', mom will have your head.'

'Stop trying to ignore the fact you hadn't noticed.'

'They're my mom and dad, I try to ignore what they're doing most of the time because they're usually doing something like…euch…that.' He pointed outside where his parents were kissing fervently.

His foster brother quickly averted his eyes. 'Yeah, see what you mean but they haven't been like that for a while.'

'As a matter of fact I think I did realise…I was revelling in it actually. No awkward moments walking in on them kissing, not having to worry before opening doors, breakfast without the flirtatious banter, dinner without overt sexual undertones…'

'Seth.' His brother cut off the rant.

'What?'

But Ryan wasn't listening; his eye had caught sight of the sun reflecting on something outside. Kirsten's rings were flashing gold in the sunlight and that's when it came to him. The past few days they hadn't been there.

Since he'd arrived he didn't think he'd seen the platinum bands leave her finger but just recently they'd been missing. He frowned. Had he been hallucinating? But the more he thought about it the more the truth hit him in the face.

'What Ry?' Seth was whining.

'Your mom took her rings off.'

'Huh?'

'Her wedding rings…last week she wasn't wearing them.'

'Oh she lost them,' Seth said undisturbed, 'that's the reason we didn't have a kitchen sink for three days remember? Dad took the plumbing apart to try find them. Spent all day Saturday in that cupboard and managed to lose the screw that fits the thing to the...thing.'

Ryan shook his head, something wasn't right. Kirsten didn't just _lose_ her rings, she never took them off.

'All day?' he asked.

'Yeah. He was bored I guess.'

'More like he was worried.'

'Why? They're only jewellery.'

'No, they're not Seth, it's more than that and…'

'And what?'

'I just, have this dumb feeling that, Kirsten didn't lose them, she took them off.'

'But mom _never_ takes her rings off.'

'I know. That's why it's weird. But they've been weird lately. I'm worried there's something going on.

'I see what you're getting at Ryan but really, all I can see that's going on out there is way too much PDA.'

His brother sighed, perhaps he was overreacting; his guardians looked happy enough now. It was just…he was used to them being all over each other, embarrassing though it was.

The recent tension in the house, the silence at mealtimes, the false jokes, chaste kisses, their bedroom door not being closed, it wasn't right.  
Kirsten's laugh was heard from the poolside and Ryan could see she was now sat on Sandy's knee running her hands through his hair, his arms tight around her waist.  
He shook the dark thoughts from his head; it seemed alright now


	4. Daylight Day

Daylight Day

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey everyone, just wanted to say thank you sooo much for your ace reviews. You're all so nice and write long feedback. Love you! There will be one more chapter after this and then no more! Sorry. If you want to bug me about writing follow up chapters to 'Tolliver's Class' that might work. Or tell me off for not finishing my huge, long Kandy fic – I need a kick up the butt to get that finished! But I definitely will do the last chapter of this quickly…the other fics may be a while coming – dumb coursework and I have to start preparing for uni interviews – I got one letter yesterday! Is it normal to be scared already?)

OK will stop babbling. I guess this scene is after the golfing bit in 'The Blaze of Glory.'

Ch1 – night end of 'The Mallpisode'…Ch2 – next morning in 'TBOG'…Ch3/4/5 – that day/night

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The phone rang mid-morning in Kirsten's office. Three argumentative investors had just left and she sank down in her chair with a sigh to answer it.

'Hey baby.'  
Sandy's voice travelled down the line and immediately made her feel a little better. Not the inherent comfort that was usual, but something.

'Hi, what's going on?'

Her tone wasn't exactly suspicious but there was a note of wariness.

He never used to need an excuse to phone his wife, and for the thousandth time Sandy cursed himself for doing this to her, to them.

'Just calling to say hi,' he said nonchalantly, 'see how your morning's going, ask what you want for dinner, tell you…tell you…I love you.'

There was silence on the other end of the line and Sandy bit his lip. 'I haven't said that enough recently, I know that and I'm sorry.'

'I know,' Kirsten said at last. 'I love you too.'

His sigh of relief was audible and Kirsten took a deep breath before asking, 'H-how about lunch?'

He smiled. Lunch sounded great.

'Yeah, it sounds stupid but I miss you.'

'Same here. I want…need to see you…this morning…' she trailed off, not sure how to explain.

'This morning…' Sandy echoed, 'and now…'

She didn't need to explain. He felt it too.

This morning everything had seemed simple, ok. Now, not being face to face it made things feel less certain somehow.

Kirsten needed to see him when he said 'I miss you'.

Sandy needed to see the 'I love you' written across his face.

Looking in someone's eyes was how you knew; hearing it on the phone wasn't the same.

'Do you…' he began to ask.

She knew what he was going to say. 'No, why don't you come over here?'

Sandy's office was the last place she felt like going right now.

Rebecca's face haunted the place, haunted her.

'Yeah; good idea,' Sandy agreed. 'Need to get out of this office. Any requests?'

The conversation felt too normal, they were sliding almost effortlessly into routine and as much as she missed it, Kirsten wasn't sure she was comfortable with that yet.

How could anything be normal when you were talking to your husband who may or may not have cheated on you?

He didn't cheat.

The thought was forced.

He loves you.

How much?

'Kirsten?'

'Um…anything's good,' she said quickly, suddenly desperate to get off the phone. 'See you at one.'

Dial tone.  
Kirsten was gone.

'Oh hello Sanford,' Caleb said jauntily, striding into Kirsten's office with a pile of files. 'See you're distracting my daughter again.'

'Just making sure she eats between being overworked,' Sandy quipped back.

His father-in-law looked concerned for a moment. 'I'm not am I Kiki?' he asked abruptly.

'What?'

'Overworking you?'

'No, it's fine dad, honest. Don't worry about me.'

'Well, as long as you're alright.'

'Yeah, keeping busy is the best thing; stops me thinking,' she added in an undertone.

Caleb glanced at Sandy and then back at his daughter. 'He's sorry you know,' he told her as he left.

They were left open-mouthed.

'Well,' Kirsten said at last, 'that was unexpected. My dad taking your side? I wonder if he's feeling ok.'

'As much as he hates me, he knows how much I love you.'

'Still…'how comes this gentle concord in the world?'' she quoted.

'Perhaps he's mellowing in his old age; nothing like a heart-attack to put things in perspective! Plus we did spend a lot of time over the weekend having heart-to-hearts, not something _I _ever expected to do with your father.'

'Yeah you told me. Dad was upset about Lindsay, you were upset about Rebecca.'

'I never said that.'

'You said you were upset.'

'But not…ok I can't lie to you; I _was_ upset about her leaving but...'

'No 'buts' Sandy, you _were_ upset about Rebecca, that's all I need to know.'

'Kirsten. That was part of it but not all. I was upset about you, about us. Angry I'd let you down, upset you, hurt you, made you doubt how much I love you.'

Kirsten twisted her fingers in her lap as Sandy continued.

'I've lived without her for twenty years but it was like losing her all over again. I miss her, but I miss you more. I miss the connection we used to have, our 'moments', your smile. I miss my wife. I miss _my_ Kirsten.'

Sandy's voice was hollow, his eyes earnest.

'I'm still here,' Kirsten said quietly, 'You were the one who wasn't.'

He deserved that comment.

It was true.

And he hated it.

'I was upset about your ring too. The irony that it felt like our marriage was crumbling, the symbol of it lost.'

She swallowed nervously; it hadn't occurred to her that Sandy would think that deeply about it.

Or had she wanted him to? Wasn't that what she wanted?

Him to notice, realise something was wrong between them.

Know that she wouldn't just lose her rings. They weren't her most expensive piece of jewellery, but they were the most important, most precious, most loved.

It meant something that he noticed their absence, spent all day searching for them.  
That was the point wasn't it?

She didn't know.

_She_ hadn't noticed that though.

She'd run off to the office; her favourite hiding place.  
She hadn't stayed home and tried to work things out, spend some time with Sandy now Rebecca was gone.

Sandy reached out and took her hand, his thumb running over the metal bands that adorned her fourth finger.

How naked her finger had looked without them.

How strange it had been not to have them there.

'I'm glad you found them.'

She couldn't keep eye-contact, dropping her head to get away from his penetrating gaze.

'Me too.'

'Who'd have thought they'd be behind some cushions?'

'Mmmhmm.'

Her own lie sounded false to her ears.

Did he know? Suspect? He was a lawyer after all; he could detect a lie from a hundred paces. Seth bewailed the fact daily.

Plus she was a terrible liar.

'You know,' he continued, his eyes focussed on the ring, 'if-if you didn't _lose_ them…'

Shit.

'I mean, you did, but just say you didn't, if there was some other reason…I understand.'

'Sandy, I-'

'I'm not saying…anything, just…I haven't deserved to have you wear my rings the past couple of days, so I think I know why they were lost.'

'But…'

'But hey, you found them.'

'Yeah…I found them, and we'll find our groove,'

'God I hope so,' he said, holding her tight for a moment. 'I gotta go but I'll see you at home tonight.'

Tonight.

They had the rest of the day to get through yet.

Julie found Kirsten in her office early that evening. She was obviously putting off going home. 'How are things?' she asked quietly. Anyone could see Kirsten wasn't herself and after the revelations of that drunken afternoon Julie was worried about her.

Being worried about someone other than herself or her reputation; a mean feat for Julie Cooper Nichol.

'Oh,' the blonde woman said, surprised by the author of the question. 'Things are…things are…how's Marissa?'

'Still gay if that's what you're asking. But you weren't, you were just getting out of answering my question.'

'Guilty as charged.'

'Still bad?'

'No, not exactly,' Kirsten conceded. 'It's just…hard.'

'But you're talking again right?'

'Yeah, this morning and then he came over for lunch.'

'Well that's good right.'

'I-I don't know. Feels…strange, us being like this.'

'What's he said about it?'

'Nothing happened, he's sorry, he loves me.'

'Do you believe him?'

'On which count?'

'Any, whichever matters most. If you believe the last two, the first should be a given.'

Kirsten nodded. 'I trust him.'

'Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself.'

'At some point you've got to trust the other person, that's what love is. It just isn't the greatest assurance.'

'He's half of 'Sandy-and-Kirsten', he has to be telling the truth; can't have my moral centre slipping.'

That raised a half-smile.

'Go home,' Julie told her. 'Go home, get drunk and have wild, rampant sex,' that'll solve all your problems, trust me.'

The older woman looked somewhat horrified. 'Right Julie, thanks for the tip but I think I'll stick with just heading home.'

'I'm not fighting about this Kirsten,' he said loudly.

She smiled coyly, 'Oh you're not are you?'

'No. I don't want to do this. You said you didn't want to fight, I don't either.'

'I didn't mean we couldn't argue over take-out.'

They were stood in the kitchen, close together in the limited space between counter and sink.

Close, close enough to be touching.

It felt good to be so close.

It felt good to be fighting over something so trivial and stupid, not have to shut doors and lower their voices.

It felt good to know they were both joking.

Both on the same page again.

Mock fights, real making up.

They were at that point when the boys came in.

'Ew! Excessive and unnecessary tongue action _way_ too close to my Moo Shu Pork,' Seth complained.

Ryan just lowered his eyes, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth, and grabbed a plate.

No awkward silences at the dinner table tonight.

Still wasn't perfect though.

With one eye on his two oblivious sons, Sandy continued to eat using the fork in his left while his right slid cautiously beneath the table to caress his wife's leg.

Kirsten jumped about a mile, hands flailing and toppling her wine glass so it spilt across the table and into Sandy's plate.

'Sorry,' she said, shooting Sandy an apologetic glance as she hastily righted the glass.

'No worries; I was almost done anyway.'

Ryan appeared with paper towels, he and Seth clearing the table while their parents began to mop up.

'I'm sorry,' Kirsten said again, becoming flustered, 'I'm obviously desperate to stain your shirt, first coffee, now this.'

Sandy caught her hands which were flapping distractedly and pressed the paper in them onto the table. They watched the red liquid soak the towels for a moment, their hands tangled above it.

'It's going to be ok,' he said.

She wished she believed him.

Why was daytime so much harder?

What was it about the light that dissolved her faith?

It had been a difficult daylight day but there was always tonight.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah I don't think Sandy twigged really but hey, I wanted him to, bit of ad lib there! Please review!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	5. Daylight To Night

Daylight To Night

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This is IT. Ok! Please don't entreat me for more! I know I could continue…do the rest of the season (lol) but then it would get depressing again! Maybe one day when I'm very bored! You can tell me to get my ass in gear and finish my long fic instead! This one kept trying to get smutty but I controlled myself lol! Enjoy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kirsten was sat on the bed kicking off her shoes when Sandy emerged from the bathroom. He'd showered while she rinsed the dinner plates and put them in the dishwasher.

Something Sandy didn't understand.

There were a lot of things he didn't understand.

She never thought she'd be one of them.

'Um, Seth asked about…us,' he told her from under the towel he was vigorously rubbing his hair with.

'Ryan asked me.'

'Oh. W-what did you say?'

'I said everything was fine, just been working a lot and getting stressed. Don't think he bought it.'

'Don't think Seth did either.'

'What did you tell him?'

'Same as you really. I don't know Kirsten.' Sandy paused, 'Do I tell him I upset you? He and Ryan would probably frogmarch me out. Do I tell him the only reason we're not sleeping in separate beds is because we can't sleep alone? I don't ever want to admit that.'

'You did the right thing. They can't know, don't need to.'

'What if they do already?'

'It's in the past now.'

'So was Rebecca and she came back to haunt us.'

'I'm gonna go shower,' Kirsten said and disappeared into the bathroom.

Sandy sighed, tugging on a pair of boxers and an old T-shirt.

This wasn't meant to be them.

She took her time in the shower reluctant to get out and face her husband who would be waiting for her in their bed.

Their bed.

She stood immobile beneath the spray and let it wash away her tears.

She couldn't keep thinking like this.

She had to let Rebecca go.

Sandy had.

Sandy.

She could visualise him from a moment ago; towel round his waist, hair damp and dripping into his eyes.

Kirsten twisted the thermostat sharply to cold.

He wasn't in their room.

Wasn't waiting in their bed.

She wasn't sure how that made her feel.

Relieved? Disappointed? She didn't know.

Kirsten found him slouched on the couch, lazily flicking through the channels.

'Where are the boys?' she asked quietly.

Sandy looked round startled and slid over so there was room next to him, 'Poolhouse; play-station superbowl.'

She sat down tentatively, curling her feet beneath her in an attempt to get comfortable.

'You'll get dead legs sat like that.'

'You take up too much space,' she teased, giggling self-consciously as he pulled her legs towards him so her feet rested in his lap.

She seemed ok with it, Sandy mused, if a little tense. At least she hadn't pulled away. He just wanted some sort of connection.

A companionable silence fell between them.

Sandy continued flipping through the channels, pausing longer on the irritating shopping networks to get a rise out of his wife. She'd nudge him with her feet, gently at first and then more firmly until he relented.

They watched the news and the weather.

Seth and Ryan came in for snacks.

They saw a repeat of a popular soap, half a period drama and caught the tail-end of a very boring documentary on clams.

Seth went past and up to bed.

The clock ticked later and later but neither of them made a move.

They didn't feel tired.

Just tired of things being this way.

Kirsten shivered and Sandy reached for her hand, 'Come over here,' he said hopefully. His wife wavered momentarily and then moved so she was curled up under his arm, head resting on his chest.

She could feel his heart beating again.

An old movie came on, something they would have watched in their Berkeley days, sat the way they were now.

Sandy mocked the characters, the actors, the setting, the plot.

Kirsten fell asleep.

Or rather, 'rested her eyes.' The age old excuse that Sandy hadn't believed then and still didn't now.

He didn't mind; liked feeling her warm breath tickling his arms, the way she scrunched her nose in her sleep and hugged him tighter.

The movie ended as Sandy predicted and he shut off the TV. Kirsten didn't wake as he picked her up and headed for their bedroom, only stirring when he laid her on their bed. She kept her arms locked around his neck and pulled him towards her.

It was easier to bypass her head at this point.

Conscience, rational thinking, logic, they weren't helping.

They were telling her to do the opposite of what she wanted.

And what she wanted right now was to fuck Sandy senseless.

Make him forget Rebecca fucking Bloom ever existed.

That was why she was kissing him fiercely, hands roaming downwards and pushing the t-shirt off his body.

For a moment she felt his surprise before he kissed her back.

He obviously didn't feel like thinking either.

She was naked before the nagging insecurities caught up with her.

They were both naked, legs tangled together, Sandy propped up on one elbow over her, trailing kisses along her collarbone.

Kirsten hesitated, one hand against his chest, stopping him. 'You promise nothing happened.'

'Oh Kirsten,' Sandy breathed, 'it couldn't. You really think I could be here like this and lie to you?'

'No.'

'It didn't mean anything.'

'You know that argument doesn't work.'

Sandy rolled onto back and stared at the ceiling.

'She…she's never going to be nothing to me Kirsten, you know that. Jimmy's still…'

'He's my oldest friend, that's all.'

He twisted to look at her straight, 'Who kissed you.'

'And you kissed her. Where does that leave me?' she turned so they were lying side by side, face to face.

'Kiss me.'

'What?'

'Kiss me.'

Kirsten frowned but complied, hesitantly pressing her lips against her husband's, feeling his mouth meet hers, tongue begging for admittance and then tangling with her own.  
It was a while before they broke apart.

'You kissed me,' he said breathlessly. 'Where does that leave us?'

'Pretty much lost.' Kirsten joked sadly. 'I just don't know Sandy.'

He swallowed. 'You kissed me, it meant something right?'

'Of course, I just…I-I…' she faltered, glancing about confused. He had her cornered.

She'd kissed him. He'd told her to but still, she'd agreed, wanted to agree, acted on her feelings without thinking. That was how she really felt then wasn't it?

'Your kiss means everything,' he told her, too impatient, too nervous to wait for a response.

Everything.

It sounded cliché but it wasn't. She liked how it sounded.

'I just…don't want to be compared to her.'

'There is no comparison,' Sandy said, 'you're my wife, you always win.'

'I love you.'

'I love _you_ Kirsten.'

There was complete quiet while they took in the moment.

'We're doing a lot of talking.'

What he meant was that they never used to.

'Sometimes things have to be said.'

'And other times?'

'We don't need words.'

They didn't need words right now. The connection between them was still damaged but at least it was there.

Sandy opened his mouth but she pressed her hand over it. 'Shh!'

He smiled and caught her fingers in his mouth, pulling her on top of him so she was in control.

She loved how he did that. Knew she still wasn't perfectly comfortable and let her do things her way.

They didn't need to say 'I love you' it just hung in the air between them, around them, inside them.

Words weren't needed right now.

He loved how she did that; curled up on top of him after they made love and went to sleep.

She loved how he let her lie there, as much of her skin pressed against his as possible, her head resting on his chest, listening to his heat-beat slowing.

He loved how close she felt after the distance of the past few days.

She loved how his arms tightened round her in his sleep.

He loved how they'd still be in the same position in the morning.

She loved how when they woke up like this Sandy would forgo surfing, trailing gentle fingers and kisses down her torso making her shiver.

He loved how the sight of his naked wife asleep could turn him on.

What could be hotter than being naked apart from a wedding ring?

The ring he gave her. The ring that tied them together.

She loved how his morning kisses could take her right back to last night, take her back twenty years, to all the nights they'd shared.

Daylight to night to daylight again.

They were still lying close when the sun rose.

When it set they found each other's arms.

The sun rose again.

The sun set again.

Either way, they were together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it? Please review...I have an evil headache and English coursework! Love you guys.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


End file.
